THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU'RE SPIRALING INTO DEPRESSION

  1. Sleep all day
  2. Eat a lot of soy-based chicken nuggets
  3. Don't hang out with any of your roommates. Pretend you live alone.
  4. Watch -a lot- of Gossip Girl, a terrible show about terrible people in Manhattan made by a sexist racist man who has never lived in New York
  5. Get mad and frustrated at Gossip Girl, but don't stop watching. Watch the whole thing. Watch all SEVEN seasons.
  6. Cry a lot when you watch cute dog vines
  7. Watch your unibrow and mustache grow and grow and then wax it in a fit of rage over something completely unrelated
  8. Grocery shop online at 4:30 AM
  9. Make a lot of green smoothies because you're barely eating anything but chicken nuggets
  10. Feel confused when you see sunlight beaming into your room. Remember that the sun exists.
  11. Do NOT go outside
  12. Except when you're going to your therapist. She's Very Nice.