I ACCIDENTALLY BOUGHT EXFOLIATING BODY WASH

Here's what happened
  1. It was the fanciest looking bottle for under ten dollars at Duane Reade (which btw they are all so clearly just Walgreens so just call them Walgreens)
  2. I anticipated my next shower to use said body wash cause I was just using a bar of Cetaphil soap at the time. I didn't shower for like another Seven hours.
  3. When I showered, I still didn't notice that it was exfoliating when I squirted it in my hand.
  4. Once applied to my body, I didn't have the context of exfoliation in my head so I thought I was suddenly stricken with Fibromyalgia
  5. As my flesh was ripped from my body I realized what was happening and promptly stopped.
  6. My chest looks like I was attacked by a cat.
  7. I went back to the store and bought five bottles of two dollar suave body wash that smells like Cherry and Almonds, separately. Not like Amaretto.