THINGS ON MY FLIGHT FROM LAX TO JFK RIGHT NOW

  1. White guy in fedora sitting next to butch lesbian in Acid Washed "BEYONCÉ" ball cap
  2. A couple who both took of their shoes and covered their eyes
  3. A guy who looks miserable in first class
  4. Various headphones
  5. This selfish father
  6. This blanket that is probably just a ripped t shirt
  7. Me in seat 32C in the middle of all the action