Reasons I wish I had a tail

Confessions of a weirdo: Chris Miller
  1. It would be so handy. I could use it to hold things or grab things. I could hold a drink and still have 2 free hands!
    Monkeys have tails that can do this. They are called prehensile tails
  2. I could use the tail to deter and swat pests or bugs
    Like cows or horses
  3. Courtship. I could use my beautiful tail in a mating ritual to persuade female suitors.
    Peacocks tails are all unique, like fingerprints.
  4. I would be a fantastic swimmer.
    Fish tails move side to side, marine animal tails move up and down to propel them through the water.
  5. Entertainment.
    Anytime I get bored I could just chase it around in circles
  6. Not saying I'd do this but I could use it to mark my territory if need be.
    Hippopotamuses twirl their tails like propellers while they are pooping to spread its feces to a larger area
  7. I could turn into a giant monkey during a full moon
    If you know you know
  8. I would never need a belt ever again.
  9. I could be so helpful to other people.
    Deer use their tails to communicate danger
  10. I could watch my figure
    Alligators use their tails to store fat
  11. I could stay warm
    Foxes use their tails to stay warm in the winter
  12. I could communicate my emotions better
    Dogs and cats use their tails to display emotions like fear and excitement.
  13. I could probably be able to communicate with dogs and cats on a different level which would be sweet
    Because they use their tails to communicate with each other
  14. Most importantly, I would be SO much better at sports due to my impeccable balance
    Tails help with balance on unbelievable levels. Cats and squirrels use theirs to help always land on their feet. Other animals use theirs to balance while they run on branches and such.
  15. ———————————————————
  16. There would possibly be some cons to having a tail though
  17. Seats would be very different
  18. Clothes would also be different
  19. People could grab them which would hurt
  20. You'd have to walk further behind people
    Especially on escalators
  21. Revolving doors would be terrifying
  22. ——————————————————
  23. Overall it still seems like a great idea and I would love to have a tail and I have pretty much always felt this way but this is my first time publicly voicing it