Requested by Soléna

THE FIRST TIME I DID SOMETHING FORBIDDEN/ILLEGAL

  1. I was in fourth grade and I had a new friend named Jacqueline
    We were pretty much inseparable from fourth through eighth grade
  2. Jacqueline was very different from me. She was raised with different morals and values
  3. She wasn't a bad influence. She made me better in some ways, and worse in others
  4. I was a snobby catholic girl; I was "good" in the sense that I didn't cheat or steal or talk back to my teacher, but I was also mean
    Jacqueline made me less good and less mean
  5. One day at the scholastic book fair she said she had to show me something. She took a dog pencil topper off of a pencil and slipped it into her pocket.
  6. I loved these pencil toppers. I had been eyeing them for years, but my mom had always said book fairs were for books
  7. So I took one. And the next day I took three more.
  8. And that was that.
  9. Except it wasn't. The guilt followed me everywhere I went. I would be playing by myself and remember and feel nauseous. I would think about it while I brushed my teeth. And while I tried to fall asleep. And in the lunch line. 24/7.
  10. I felt crushed by guilt. So, months later, I told my mom. And I told my priest.
    This story is so catholic I'm screaming?
  11. And she told me to donate to the scholastic book fair. And he told me to donate to the church. So I did.
  12. But the guilt didn't leave. Even now, knowing it really wasn't that big of a deal, I feel guilty still.