MY FAVORITE GHOSTS
Below are a list of 9 of my favorite ghosts. I hope this list gives you a spooky good time this Halloweentide!
- •Ghastly McShaneGhastly McShane is a fixture of Scottish folklore. A spectral highlander that roams the night, Ghastly is known for his unnerving practice of lifting kilts at inopportune times.
- •The Headless CoalminerActually Old Man Jenkins, whose family owned the old Johnstown Coal Mine, and who would have been able to steal the fortune in gold hidden at the bottom-- if it wasn't for you meddling kids!
- •The Untrustable Boo in Apartment 23If you are even in Manhattan's Mackleroy Apartment building, you might notice the the door to apartment 23 has been nailed shut. If you press your ear to the door, on a cold night, you might just make out the sounds of someone-- or something-- inside. And if you dare ask it a question, it will respond in a soft, scratching voice... but its answer will always, always be a lie.
- •The Haunted ToastThe Haunted Toast is a piece of toast that was buttered with a spread made from the rendered fat of a serial killer's victims. It now haunts the Pennsylvania night sky, landing butter-side down in front of passers-by, dooming then to misfortune and woe.
- •Astral goatsAstral goats are a fairly common phenomenon, and not particularly frightening in their own right, but their sudden, unseen bleats still sometimes startle mountaineers to their doom.
- •Ludwig von SpookinhausenNo ghost is ghostier than Ludwig von Spookinhausen, a Bavarian count who lived his entire life in preparation for haunting the hereafter. His castle features more chains per square in than any other in Europe, and special 'ghost bellows' amplify Ludwig's spectral moaning throughout the estate. It's all in good fun, however, and a stay at Castle von Spookinhausen js strongly recommended for any ghost enthusiast.
- •The Unquiet TitsFrom 1978 to 1992, the Tigerluxx Lounge of Tucson, Arizona was home to one of the strangest specters on record: a pair of ghostly breast implants that would orbit the stripper polls, and interrupt lap dances with their unnerving jiggling. In August, 1992, a ten-woman exorcism led by Tucson's exotic dancer coven finally laid the orbs to rest, leading to the now-common expression, "calm your tits".
- •Knowledge SkullKnowledge Skull is one of three skulls of power held by Oxford University. Every day at 12:34 AM, the skull rattles to life, screams, and then returns to slumber. This skull was formerly known as "The Screaming Skull", until researchers slowed its scream by 500%, and discovered it was actually a man's voice, calmly describing in perfect English how to make a very nice key-lime pie. Oxford now records every scream, which you can access at your local library.
- •Mortuary Joe"Mortuary Joe/ Mortuary Joe/ Diggin' your own grave was a tough road to hoe/ Now you haunt the morgue/ And puppet the dead/ And you were the serial killer/ That made the haunted bread." -Local children's rhyme