How to survive losing a child to suicide
A few weeks ago, I was working with someone and it came up that I had lost my son in 2005 to suicide. She asked me "How do you ever survive something like that?". I said I didn't know but i have been thinking about it ever since.
- •FamilyI have 2 other children who were 17 & 20 at the time. I felt like I had to try and choose life for them.
- •A good therapistI had started seeing someone a few months before because my son was making me feel crazy. She was great before and after and I doubt I would've made it without her.
- •My dogsThey were always there and willing to listen.
- •ComedyI had occasionally gone out to see comedy in the past but after this, I started going a lot. I had tickets to see Seinfeld about a month after this happened. I went and really laughed and it was such a nice break from grief.
- •KnittingIt seemed like I would spend hours at the yarn store. I must've made 150 scarves, hats and socks. I just wanted to make stuff quickly and then give them away.
- •DrugsI know but sometimes you just need to numb yourself for a couple hours. And as my brother said, " after something like this happens to you , I think you get a free pass as far as drugs."
- •BakingI've always loved to bake and was able to get a job baking for a movie theater/restaurant . The baking was therapeutic and I could go see any movie in the city for free. Maybe the best job ever .
- •BooksI seem to have found a number of novels where suicide was part of the story. In Skylight Confessions , someone said ," people don't kill themselves because of other people . They kill themselves because of what's inside of them." This was revelatory for me. It still makes me feel better .