I DON'T "LOVE" RANCH, BUT HERE'S 12 THINGS I WOULD USE IT FOR I GUESS

  1. 1.
    As oil in my car.
    I need to get my oil changed.
  2. 2.
    To grease up some wheels in an old grandfather clock.
  3. 3.
    To grease up the gears in that giant robot spider.
    Y'know from the 1999 motion picture Wild Wild West starring Will Smith and Kevin Kline.
  4. 4.
    As Chapstick, in a pinch. Right before I kiss Salma Hayek.
    Y'know from the 1999 motion picture Wild Wild West starring Will Smith and Kevin Kline.
  5. 5.
    As primer for a painting made of condiments.
    And ketchup is red, mustard > yellow, curry > orange, wasabi > green, blueberry marmalade > blue, just some blueberries smashed up > indigo, that weird purple ketchup Heinz made in 2000, and I've got a big head of broccoli as an Afro like Bob Ross
  6. 6.
    Sunscren
    😎
  7. 7.
    As an oil slick in my kooky car in the Wacky Races
    © Hanna Barbera 1968
  8. 8.
    To dip my boneless wings in.
  9. 9.
    The list is over early.
    Goodbye.
  10. 10.
    Lube.