AN IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS OF JUSTIN BIEBER'S SEMINAL CLASSIC, "BOYFRIEND"

Where I take excerpts of Bieber's "Boyfriend" and uncover the hidden meaning behind the words and delve further into the psyche of Justin, Beliebers, and "Bieber Fever". (Read this list in Perd Hapley's voice for best viewing experience)
  1. "If I was your boyfriend I'd never let you go, I could take you places you ain't never been before."
    If we choose to ignore the glaring double negative, we see here that Justin wants to be the Aladdin to your Jasmine, the Mr. Miyagi to your Daniel-San (you can't ignore that sexual tension).
  2. "Baby, take a chance or you'll never ever know, I got money in my hands that I'd really like to blow, swag, swag, swag, on you."
    This portion of the song has proven a conundrum among critics. What does "swag, swag, swag" mean? What is the premise behind these words?? WHAT DOES HE MEAN???? Bieber later divulged more about the topic in his newest hit, "What Do You Mean?"
  3. "Chillin' by the fire while we eatin' fondue I don't know about me but I know about you So say hello to falsetto in three, two, swag"
    Here Bieber showcases his love of the finer things in life. He is a rugged camping man who know how to provide ("fire",) he is into fine dining ("fondue"), and he can sing in a high pitched girlish tone showcasing his sensitive nature that silently says "I will go down on you for upwards of 45 minutes" ("falsetto").
  4. "I don't ever wanna fight yeah, you already know I'm a make you shine bright like you're laying in the snow Burr"
    He's passive. Like an adorable 14 year old dog with a bum back leg and nasty breath, Justin is content to do whatever pleases you. He wants you to be in the spotlight. You're his favorite nipple ring. His blood diamond. The next line is my favorite in this glorious poem, "Burr". Here, Justin showcases his love of history. By referencing Aaron Burr, the politician known for killing Alexander Hamilton, Bieber solidified his role model status. He's concerned with teaching his Beliebers history.
  5. "Swaggy"
    Bieber is a modern-day Shakespeare, creating new words we now use in everyday life. So swaggy of you to share your mind with us, Biebs, we love you for it.