How My Life Has Changed Since Getting Married

A list of ways that my wife has changed my life
  1. Got me on the grid. Before Joanie, I had no cell phone or credit of any kind.
  2. No more wearing a robe in public
  3. Deodorant. I wear it now.
  4. The AM. I wake up around 7am, used to get up around 2pm.
  5. Insurance. I have it now.
  6. Socks. I own and wear socks now.
  7. Jeans. I own and wear more than 1 pair.
  8. Shoes. Different styles for different occasions because 1 pair of chucks and 1 pair of flip flops is no longer acceptable.
  9. Movies. No longer have time for movies.
  10. Savings. I have a savings account with honest to god American money inside.
  11. Checking. Hasn't been negative since getting hitched.
  12. Shampoo. Own it and use it.
  13. Kids. I am their father.
  14. Pets. a cat, a dog, and a fish all live in my house.... For now.
  15. Vacations. I love taking vacations. Who knew. Before Joanie, I never left Lawrence. Not even to go home.
  16. Sex. No new strange.
  17. Sex. Sober.
  18. Sex. Now injury prone.
  19. Sex. No longer take it for granted.