💁🏼 HOW TO THROW SHADE LIKE A PROFESSIONAL pt. 1

What is shade, exactly? The phrase first seeped into mainstream culture in 1990 when a documentary on drag queens in NYC, "Paris is Burning," aired.
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    It was jargon that circulated exclusively within the LGBTQ community - until 2013 brought a sudden spike in popularity.
    However, as rampant as the terminology now is, people still butcher its usage on the daily.
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    Bitchiness 101: being shady =/= hating on someone. On the contrary: to throw shade is to launch sly, understated zingers that flex your creativity muscle.
    They're the types of comments that, 10 minutes after the fact, the Becky in question will wonder to herself, "Did I just get burned?" (Yes, honey. Yes, you did.)
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    So here's a compilation of insults whose subtext reads: "It's a shame you're a Michelle when I'm a Beyoncé."
    Now next time you cross paths with your slimy ex who had the *audacity* to slide into your sorority sister's DMs, you'll be fully equipped to passively yet sufficiently gut his ego.
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    These lines are also effective against any Tinder match who deems you "a total hobag" for not responding to his abhorrent messages.
    And for that unnecessarily sassy lady at the DMV. The options are endless, really.
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    Either way, your shade game will be so strong haters will swear there's a solar eclipse.
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    Let the Queen of Shade welcome you in.
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    GENERAL SHADE
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    (After a weird comment) "Oh... were you homeschooled?"
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    (After a bratty comment) "I'm guessing you were an only child?"
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    "You still use Internet Explorer, right?"
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    "Were you an Art History major or something?"
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    "You're the Charlotte to my Carrie!"
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    "Your sense of humor is very 'Seth Rogen.'"
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    SHADE THEIR TRASHY AND/OR LOSER LIFESTYLE
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    "I'm sure high school was the greatest time of your life."
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    "Are you from the South? Because that would make sense."
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    "I could see you on Jerry Springer."
    Or if you want to be extra savage, Maury.
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    "If you went to Hogwarts, you'd definitely be in Hufflepuff."
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    "Where did you go to college? Arizona State, I'm assuming?"
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    SHADE THEIR POLITICAL IGNORANCE
    My personal favorite!
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    "Did you read that on Buzzfeed?"
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    "Oh, is that what your dad thinks?"
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    "Is that what they're teaching at community college these days?"
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    "Weren't you super into KONY? No? Oh, you just seem like the type."
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    "Did you vote for Ted Cruz? I get that vibe."
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    "Let me guess: you're a Libertarian."
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    Much more to come! ❤️