This list wouldn't have been possible without the past 23 years of my life dedicated to being a bitch ❤️ #somuchshadeineedavacay
  1. Giphy
    It's about to be you, honey. Let's begin.
  3. "You listen to Nickelback, right?"
  4. "It's not up to my standards but would be perfect for you!"
  5. "You like (insert TV show here)? You must be so relieved it hasn't been cancelled yet."
  6. "You seem like a Pepsi person. Take that however you want."
  7. "Do you drive a PT Cruiser? That seems like it would suit your... style."
  8. "Oh, you like (insert singer or band here)? That's awesome they still have fans."
  10. "I wish I had the confidence you do to go out without makeup on."
    Effective when they're clearly wearing makeup.
  11. "That's such a cute selfie. Which version of Photoshop do you use?"
  12. "You're aging so well for being white."
  13. "I'm sure you'll grow into your looks someday."
  14. "You must be *really* good with makeup."
  15. (If they're a woman) "You got your looks from your dad, I'm guessing?"
  16. (If they're a man) "I'm sure that if you make enough money women won't even pay attention to your looks."
  17. "Wow, that's an amazing photo of you. I hardly even recognized you!"
  18. "I like what you tried to do with your hair."
  19. (When they ask something about how they look) "What's so wonderful about you is your sense of humor/fashion sense/anything unrelated to appearance."
  20. "Love the new haircut! Did you do it yourself?"
  22. "Where'd you get that dress? I'm pretty sure my mom has the same one."
  23. "Your style is very..." (long, judging pause) "... 80s."
  24. "Cute shoes! They remind me of Crocs."
  25. "I love how you just wear anything!"
  26. "Oh, is that haircut/skirt/etc. coming back into style? Interesting."
  27. "What a beautiful (designer) purse! You can barely tell it's fake."
  28. "Love the shirt! Clearance section of Kmart, right?" (You can also toss in an additional, "I bet it must be SUCH a relief to have your mom still shop for you!")
  29. "So I take it that Miley Cyrus is your style icon?" (Also applicable: Kristen Stewart, Shia LaBeouf, Lady Gaga, etc.)
  31. "That's great that you aren't too picky about who you date."
  32. "You have a boyfriend/girlfriend? I wouldn't have guessed that."
  33. "Which dating app did you two meet on?"
  34. "How nice! You're dating someone who is exactly what you deserve."
  35. "I'm sure this will work out much better than your previous relationships. Practice makes perfect, right?"
  36. "I guess there truly is someone for everyone."
  37. "That's so refreshing that looks aren't everything to you."
  38. And when all else fails? Pause, look them up and down, and with a sugary-sweet smile, say, "Bless your heart."
  39. Giphy