"I visited LA and didn't hate it. And I hate myself for saying that. I think I even liked it. God, I hate myself." -Random New York Guy
  1. Last week, I unwinded with a much-needed vacay in the concrete jungle that never sleeps.
    My mission? Eat yogurt on the steps of the Met like Blair Waldorf, sell my soul for Hamilton tickets, and track down the Abbi to my Ilana.
  2. When I attended a Late Show taping during my trip, Stephen Colbert declared, "I love New York. It's an amazing city - but it's not the only place out there. You have Chicago, which is fantastic. And LA... which exists."
  3. Stephen, I adore you, BUT WATCH YOUR WHORE MOUTH.
  4. The NYC vs. LA rivalry is legendary, among the ranks of Real Madrid vs. Barcelona (pardon me- Barthelona), DC vs. Marvel, NSYNC vs. Backstreet Boys, Gingers vs. Mankind, Dodgers vs. Winning*...
    *Yeah, I went there 😏
  5. It's time we settled this. And considering I played tourist for a full 7 days, I'm essentially an expert on the matter!
  6. First topic: PEOPLE
    "New Yorkers are trying to be nicer but we're still not good at it. My neighbors will come up to me like, 'It's a beautiful day today, YES OR NO?'" -New York Comedian
  7. Let's consider the stereotype that New Yorkers are aloof and rude: I rate that as half-true.
  8. My professional opinion is that 'age' and 'capacity to be a dick' are directly correlated. I witnessed countless old ladies hurling snide remarks at each other and even received some death glares of my own.
    Considering I've been universally adored up until this point in my life, their iciness was shocking.
  9. Yet that wasn't the case for my fellow millennials; everyone was nothing short of super friendly.
  10. I mentioned my fondness for Krav Maga to one stranger and he offered me the number of his friend with a studio. "Just say you know me and he'd love to give you a free class," he told me.
  11. Granted, New York is brimming with transplants and people are more pleasant towards young girls with the face of a cartoon deer (i.e me)... but generally, my generation is much more open-minded and supportive, with our kale and our Buzzfeed quizzes and our insurmountable inherited debt.
  12. Not pictured: YAS written below it.
  13. Shit, I'll give them $20.
  14. One last tidbit to contribute: I saw some dude walking and thought to myself, "Wow, he's fine. If only he were a few inches taller."
  15. Me: "Doesn't that guy look familiar? I think he may be famous."
  16. Friend: "That looks like it could be... Nate from Gossip Girl?
  17. Me: "Wait, you're totally right."
  18. *both of us stare*
  19. ...
  20. Friend: "He'd be so hot if he wasn't short."
  21. Later, I googled him.
  22. That's a damn lie. You heard it here first!