Do not pass go, do not collect $200 #youindangergirl
  1. Pronounces GIF like "JIF."
    Sure, that's technically the 'correct' way.... but it's gross and you need to stop.
  2. Thinks Jamba Juice is healthy.
  3. Claps when a plane lands.
  4. Has a car as his profile picture.
    This suggests he is either a) unspeakably ugly or b) secretly a Transformer. Both should be avoided at all costs.
  5. Still uses Axe body spray.
  6. Follows Dan Bilzerian ("The King of Instagram") on any form of social media.
  7. Is weirdly close with his sister.
    See: is from the South.
  8. Owns more than zero pairs of white sunglasses.
    Also, Oakleys in general. ABORT! ABORT!
  9. Similarly, wears sunglasses at night. Yikes. Or on the back of his head. Double yikes.
  10. Doesn't "believe" in buying girls drinks.
  11. His favorite shows include: Two and a Half Men, Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, or Entourage.
    The first three mean his sense of humor sucks; the latter screams douche.
  12. Has slid into any girl's DMs. Ever.
  13. Does Crossfit.
  14. Posts more pictures of his dog than you.
  15. Texts like there's a 140 character limit, i.e. thx, u, omg, and so on.
    Horrendous spelling or grammar in general should immediately dry you up.
  16. Has his own Kickstarter.
  17. Still talks about how popular he was in high school or how good his football team was.
    In related news, he probably works at your local 7/11.
  18. Says 'Merica.
  19. Only dates Asian girls.
    Full disclosure: it's highly suspect when men have any sort of race fetish, but somehow the creepiest ones are always white dudes thirsting for Asians.
  20. Is from Florida.
  21. Has ever once popped his shirt collar.
  22. Describes himself as a 'gentleman.'
    This ensures that he will, without a doubt, not be a gentleman.
  23. Posts pictures of himself posing with fish he caught.
    Excessive hunting photos should also make you think long and hard about your relationship.
  24. "Women should be flattered by catcalling!"
  25. Wears a necklace. Gold chains are obviously the worst offense and guarantee that he pinches girls' asses at clubs.
    Literally everything about this screams RUN, FORREST, RUN!
  26. Describes anything as "frat," says "frat life," and otherwise doesn't seem aware that he's no longer in a fraternity.