Because there was a lot more where that came from. Shoutout to the men of LA's Westside, who inspired every single number on this list. You all keep me cynical ❤️
  1. When asked his favorite artist, names a DJ.
    See: attends Coachella just for the Do Lab.
  2. Wears nice outfits (button-down shirt, khakis, etc.) with Rainbow sandals.
    Or just wears flipflops in general. No one wants to see those deformed, hairy flippers you call feet.
  3. Thinks women can't be funny. Like bitch, read my lists.
  4. Edits his Instagram pictures more than you. Or has ever used the Hefe filter.
  5. Two words: Ed Hardy.
  6. Doesn't have any books in his room. Alternatively, says he "doesn't like to read."
  7. Only listens to country music.
    I don't want to say Stagecoach is a major red flag, but...
  8. Says he only dates blondes.
  9. Asks you out on a date and then doesn't object when you offer to split the bill.
    This happened to me once. The check was $100+. To retaliate, I got him framed for insider trading.
  10. Uses more emojis than you over texting.
    And if his 'recent emojis' includes the eggplant...
  11. Never dates women his own age.
    Translation: he can't *get* women his own age.
  12. Has ever, in the entirety of his time on earth, taken a gym selfie. Or documents trips to the gym.
  13. "You should smile more!" .... Would you ever say this to another man? No? Thought so.
    What to do next time some entitled bro says, "Smile!"
  14. Is the type of guy to walk up to girls and say, "Where's my hug?"
    We all know one of these.
  15. Is a poor tipper.
  16. Still takes mirror selfies, as if we're not in the year 2016. Flipping off the camera or posing with sideways peace signs are also obviously dealbreakers.
  17. Prefers Pepsi to Coke.
  18. Fist bumps.
  19. Has used the hashtag #humble at some point.
    No one who is actually humble has ever done this.
  20. Refuses to share meals. Or gets angry when you eat his fries, like that isn't to be expected.
  21. Regularly gets into political debates on Facebook.
  22. Snapchat is his preferred method of communication.
    The messages disappear, you can easily send nudes... it's clearly every fuckboy's dream.
  23. Wears camo.
  24. Has his own name tattooed anywhere on his body. Or a neck tattoo. Or a face tattoo. Chinese characters are also tragic and should be avoided at all costs.
  25. Refers to women as "females." Calls gay people "homosexuals."
  26. Is named Chad.