BABY'S FIRST TRIP TO SPA CASTLE

I went to Spa Castle for the first time yesterday, and now I'm an expert. I'm also now a nudist. Lastly, I am experiencing a level of Total Exfoliation™ I never dreamed possible.
  1. Shana Tova
    @MarthaQ and I had a four day weekend, so we got to go on a blessedly uncrowded weekday. The New Year is sweet.
  2. Pre-hydrate
    My #1 concern with any trip anywhere is "Will I have constant access to gallons and gallons of potable water?" because I'm sort of fixated on hydration. For once, my anxieties paid off. You're just sweating and sweating and sweating and trying to stay chill drinking these teeny tiny paper cups of water. Inappropriate! Pre-hydrate, friends.
  3. Get naked
    The first thirty minutes were a little stressful. I was not totally on board with the whole "walk around naked amongst strangers" thing. I felt distressed over these teeny tiny terry cloth towels they give you. What's the point? Where should I hold it?
  4. Stay naked
    Then I got over myself. Everyone was there being happy and naked and taking care of their bodies: babies splashing around in swim diapers, little girls getting their hair washed by their moms, grannies getting down with therapeutic jets, big and little ladies with big and little butts and boobs and tummies. Bad tattoos. C-section scars. Pubic hair.
  5. Nap
    At one point, I just laid down on the floor in the "sleeping area" and took a damn NAP in public. The only other people there were an infant and a grandpa.
  6. Nosh
    apple ginger lemon cucumber juice + bibimbap = 💯🙏🏼⭐️
  7. BYO loofa
    You can pay extra to have a middle aged woman in a bikini scrub the shit out of you, or you can buy a loofah glove at Duane Reade and rub your own self raw.
  8. Uber
    I didn't let the MTA kill my post-sauna vibe, and you shouldn't either.