EXPENSIVE THINGS THAT FEEL LIKE A GREAT DEAL

This list combines discretionary income and strong, unnecessary opinions. It is wildly unflattering. Join me, friends!
  1. Filling my liter water bottle with cucumber water at a day spa and then drinking it later
    This makes me feel like I'm getting away with something and that makes me feel embarrassed.
  2. Using a credit at a (book)store where you previously spent a ton of money
    $10 off this giant stack of hardcovers I suddenly think I need but may not touch for months? Why, lucky me! Side eye but also endless love to Greenlight Bookstore in Fort Greene and Community Bookstore in Park Slope for expert use of this strategy.
  3. Using tiny bottles of Khiels products that I took home from a nice hotel
    This entire 2 oz bottle of moisturizer is all mine for the low, low price of roundtrip airfare + cab to hotel + actual hotel cost + maybe room service + etc etc etc
  4. Anything handed to me in the non-coach part of a plane
    Extra pretzels, wine, a disgusting towel thousands of other people have rubbed on their face/hands that I will now rub on my face/hands, whatever you've got--I'm just grateful to be here.
  5. Free wifi on Amtrak
    Amtrak costs all the dollars and the wifi sucks. These are just facts.
  6. Naps in the Admirals Club
    Your carry ons are in coat check (not on/under you), there's a complimentary bottle of water in front of you, your iPhone is charging in an outlet you didn't need to vulture like the battery whore you are, and you're sleeping on a chair that you can actually, you know, sleep on. And a nice staffer will gently wake you before you have to board. For $____ (stupid amount), you get all this. For free.
    Suggested by   @saytrumbo
  7. Free tampons in equinox locker rooms!
    Suggested by   @jujujerni
  8. Complimentary snacks in Aman hotel rooms.
    Suggested by   @ricky