INAPPROPRIATE MEN MY RELATIVES WOULD LIKE ME TO DATE
Socially inappropriate life advice from the ladies who love me most.
- •My distant cousinsMy third cousins are chefs and cookbook authors who, like me, have left the Midwest and now live in Brooklyn. After a flattering write up in the Detroit Jewish News, my grandmother, sister, and aunt all tried to convince me to find and marry one or both of them.
- •My high school physics teacherMy mother was excited when I graduated from high school, because I could finally date my physics teacher without any silly laws getting in the way.
- •My cousin's roommateI was 27 and teaching elementary school in Queens. He was 19 and perma-stoned in a dorm room in Western Mass. According to my aunt, the *only* obstacle between me and a lifetime of bliss with Jeremy was his dysfunctional, Evangelical family in Houston.
- •A famous strangerI was 16. He was Conor Oberst. My mom had big ideas for us both.