WHAT I LEARNED FROM ROOMMATES
I've been thinking about this since you wrote your list, @miggles36!!! It's true: cohabitation without the complex, intimate, resilient bonds of family or fucking is tough. Here's some of what I've gained from living with bffs and strangers and the uncomfortable stuff in between.
- •Ayesha/college/2004-2005You can care for and learn from someone you don't enjoy spending time with.
- •Two girls whose names I don't remember/Somerville/summer 2005Pretending to be an adult is the first step toward being an adult.
- •Kieran and Isa/Park Slope/summer of 2005Cheap ways to stay cool: no pants, shower beers, going to air conditioned work or class.
- •Eliza and Marty and Anthony/college/2006-2007No one regrets throwing the best party ever.
- •Eliza and Marty and Ryan (and Jesse and John and Muffin)/college/2007-2008State your fucking needs or everyone's boyfriend will move it like it's normal/acceptable. But whatever, cause living with your friend fam is the goddam greatest and you can call when you're 3 minutes away to make sure your bestie meets you on the porch with Parliaments and Diet Coke and that can be your fucked up version of self care for a while and it can great.
- •Kieran and Anthony/Chicago/2008-2010The realest dudes on earth let you wallow when you need it then shove you back out into the world of meh jobs and and so so make outs and trying trying trying trying trying.
- •Dallas and Arisela and Sara/Providence/2010-2011Love is an action word. You don't just feel it, you DO it. You WORK at it. You lay on each other's beds reading bell hooks aloud and hold each other accountable...
- •Marisa and Ana/Providence/2011-2012It is okay to articulate boundaries in a domestic space. [Time out to acknowledge how late in the game I made this "discovery."]
- •Ryan and sometimes Brian and often Hannah/Clinton Hill/2012-2013This was the year I learned to ask for help. This was a big year and they were part of it.
- •Ryan and Matt and Nate/Prospect Heights/2013-2014A lot, but I'm not sure what yet.
- •Dave/Crown Heights/2014-presentA lot, but I'm not sure what yet.