THINGS I IMAGINE THE "CHOPPED" JUDGES MIGHT SAY TO ME
- •"You didn't actually use any of the basket ingredients, but the way you presented your sock on this plate is very inventive"Geoffrey Zakarian: "I didn't get any sock on my plate, and that's too bad." me: "I was going to run to TJ Maxx, but time was running out"
- •"Your dish is beautiful, but I hate that I can't try it, because it's covered in urine."me: "I cut my finger." Alex Guarnaschelli: "that's COMPLETELY unrelated"
- •"I'm losing the red pepper, but your father issues really come through in this dish."me, sobbing: "THANK YOU SO MUCH," then I take off my top
- •"You literally just piled all the raw basket ingredients on a plate, but created a beautiful gastrique and wrote SORRY in perfect calligraphy on the edge of the dish"me: *wink to camera* (I move on to the next round)