THINGS MY NEIGHBORS MIGHT BE DOING UPSTAIRS

  1. playing a game in which a bag of potatoes is thrown repeatedly to the ground
    no one wins
  2. dragging a corpse from room to room
    "what on earth are we gonna do with this dang corpse?" asks one. "Well, I don't know, but it certainly can't stay here in the kitchen," replies the other. "I'm making a stew." Resigned, the first one sighs and drags the corpse to the bathroom
  3. practicing pratfalls
    it pays to remember the classics, especially in comedy. "try it again, but this time really SEE the imaginary banana peel"
  4. killing bugs on the floor using clown shoes that have bricks in them
    a brick is the best way to get a clown shoe to hold its shape while not in use
  5. passionate writhing drum circle
    I can't blame them. people move to Los Angeles because they want to be part of a passionate drum circle, right?