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Snippets from conversations over the last few days
    Racism is meant to exclude, and it does this by teaching us to see black people as other, as less than, as different, as untrustworthy, as a threat.
    Police in America were made for controlling and killing black people. That is a legacy you can escape. We all read that piece about Nixon's advisor and the war on drugs? Let's not pretend it has gone away in the last 50 years.
    How is this not a specific variety of the violence taught to men? We are taught to fight for power, to abuse. Never thought of this before a conversation this morning, but it makes sense that it is a piece.
2 more...
Wtf are whitepeople? Is it me? Couldn't be! Then who? White anti-racism step one:
  1. WHITENESS is not an ethnicity. I'm not talking about the part of me or you which is German-American or whathaveyou.
  2. WHITENESS, like most oppressor identities - see masculinity for a parallel - is defined in the negative. To be White is simply To Not Be Someone Who Isn't White. Huh? White = Not Black; White = Not Latinx; White = Not Asian; White = Not Native.
    Look at the evolving definition over history. It used to mean not Jewish; it used to mean not Italian; it used to mean not Roma, etc.
  3. (That's why the statement "there's no such thing as white culture" is true, but that's for another day)
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Musts and can'ts, for the good of us all
  1. Must be willing to change
  2. Can't respond to challenge with violence
  3. Must be flexible
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  1. Take pics out the window
    Same effing river all day long
  2. Finish all your work
    Train Internet suxs
  3. Phone call with bae
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Considering intimate partners, where does our strength come from?
  1. Strength is something we build within ourselves and bring to the relationship; "For the pillars of the temple stand apart" was all I could remember
    Years ago at dinner, two of my friends bonded over a love of Khalil Gibran. Listening, I was given what I thought was knowledge, in the sense Audre Lorde uses the word, that confirmed my hunch that a fierce independence was the best way to be someone's partner
  2. Strength comes from our support system: I had always relied on my friends and family to help me bring my best to my partner.
    They were there if I had concerns or doubts. They were there as examples of what (mostly not) to do. I saw my deep friendships as sources of strength, as my system of roots feeding me to make me be a better person. I let me partner challenge me to be a better person, not feed me.
  3. Strength comes from our partner? My grandmother didn't remember much in the years before she died. When she ask my grandfather where home was, he said, "wherever you are." After she died he said, "I am now homeless and homesick."
    And I thought that was beautiful, but it scared me. To have so much of your life, your life force, wrapped up in another person. Isn't that codependency? Don't we lose ourselves? How can I reconcile his words with my faith in independence? I couldn't so I just ignored the truth I heard in them and focused on building my own strength separately.
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  1. they set my aunts house on fire/i cried the way women on tv do/folding at the middle/like a five pound note./i called the boy who used to love me/tried to ‘okay’ my voice/i said hello/he said warsan, what’s wrong, what’s happened?
  2. i’ve been praying,/and these are what my prayers look like;/dear god/i come from two countries/one is thirsty/the other is on fire/both need water.
  3. later that night/i held an atlas in my lap/ran my fingers across the whole world/and whispered/where does it hurt?
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  1. The point is connection not correction
    Like CPR, the point is to help in the moment in order to connect people to professionals and resources
  2. Where it's come from
  3. Main First Aid Action Strategy
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  1. Skillet pork chops - not overcooked - with a thyme shallot peach topping, accompanied by arugula dressed with dilly yogurt
    Summer delights; those chops were soooo tender. I can't claim responsibility for that magic. Divine influence.
  2. Braised winey mustardy beef roast that falls apart, slow cooked with carrots onions and kosher dill pickles, served on top of classic egg noodles, and accompanied by roasted brussels sprouts
    Germanic influence
  3. Thyme forward chicken schnitzel (done with corn meal for a lighter feel), sweet potato fries and broccoli
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Memorial Day didn't count
  1. Chorizo, chard, basil, lemon, ricotta bow tie pasta
    All mixed together
  2. Teriyaki beef with garlic rice and broccoli
  3. Thai peanut sauce over rice noodles mixed with grated cucumber and carrots, chicken too
  4. Flakey lemon pepper basil basa fillets with leek sweet potato mash and collard greens