1. Python
    You mean I don't need four times the code to do a thing? Cool
  2. Java
    Well, I like coffee. And money. Seems like I could obtain both by knowing Java
  3. Swift
    Because you're nobody if you don't have an iOS app, right?
  4. C++
    It's got two plusses in the name. Plus, knowing c++ will give me the illusion I can create amazing games
  5. Ruby
    Nerds seem to like it
  6. PHP/JavaScript
    Tiobe says I should know these
  7. Whatever language lets me build HAL
    He's the hero we need, not the one we deserve