1. Eliminate the other shoppers
    Do everything online in your underwear.
  2. Have a "15 minute parking" zone
    Because it's 2016 and nobody asks their neighbor for a teaspoon of vanilla extract anymore.
  3. Make scanners in the store that display item reviews
    How do I know which of these will cure my rash? Note: neither of them.
  4. Hire an employee whose sole purpose is to service broken and/or squeaky carts
    This is a sure fire way to reduce shopper rage.
  5. Never allow there to be more than 3 shoppers per checkout line (barring peak times)
    Go ahead and throw Tony on register 6. The arugula can wait.
  6. Have a "greatest hits" section smack in the front of the store
    Milk? Condoms? White zin? You can find it here.
  7. Have a machine do it for you
    Program your shopping list to a drone/machine. Drone navigates supermarket and delivers to your front door.
  8. Put TV's in the aisles
    Because there's tv's everywhere else, right?
  9. Bring back supermarket day cares
    That kid just touched his balls and then 8 different kiwis.
    Who WOULDNT want to shop in a Hogwarts themed supermarket.