Things I Expect From My Family Christmas Gathering

  1. Someone will say something racist
  2. Someone will not be able to hide their disappointment about a terrible gift
  3. There will be a heated argument but I won't be able to comprehend most of it because the arguing parties will have food in their mouths
  4. I'll be in the corner, trying to survive
  5. Three glasses of wine in, my aunt will start to air her grievances she has with us and the different racial backgrounds in Brooklyn
  6. My 2 year old godson will slowly take in the chaos around him, and the corrupt seeds of my family will become subconsciously planted in his now innocent head
  7. The food will be pretty dope
  8. We will watch A Christmas Story 2.5 times on TBS
  9. We may not even get there ever hopefully because of traffic
  10. God will look down upon us and frown as his sacred holiday has turned into nothing but a battleground for argument and commercialism