THOUGHTS I HAVE WHILE PERFORMING

I'm a solo musician. I play my guitar and sing for three hours, every Saturday at a country club, in a room full of rich people with their bratty kids. Nuf said.
  1. Here goes nothin'
  2. If someone asks me to play Free Bird. I'll have to kick them out
  3. Oh my gosh, it's only been 15 minutes
  4. If this kid touches my mic stand one more time, I wonder if his parents would mind if I put him in that closet
  5. Who gave these kids acid
  6. Wow, there's so many milfs
  7. I wonder if they'll notice I'm gone if I go take a nap in the bathroom for a hot minute
  8. Seriously? It's only been an hour
  9. I wonder what these people do to be so rich
  10. His wife must be a stripper on the side
  11. Lady. I'm going to smash your kids face in
  12. Is it 7 yet? I swear I've been here 10 hours
  13. Should've ate more for lunch. Damn it
  14. That kid doesn't deserve that tasty pb&j
  15. Maybe I should've gotten drunk before this show
  16. I think I still have some chocolate milk in the fridge
  17. I forgot to put deodorant on
  18. Yes, only an hour left. There is hope
  19. I wonder if they all know I'm gay
  20. How could they not
  21. Shouldn't have had that coffee
  22. I can't wait to eat
  23. That moms butt is nicer than mine
  24. I wonder if I could get a pizza delivered here
  25. My kids will be so much better
  26. If my mom were here, she would clap for me
  27. It's only 6:45
  28. They won't notice I ended early