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  1. The old days.
  2. The new car smell.
  3. The new car smell of the old days.
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  1. Crocodiles.
  2. I'm busy watching the newest Vince Vaughn film.
  3. My @bjnovak engagement rate is below 25%.
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I live by these. No matter what. No matter where. In fact, no matter at all.
  1. A bear in the bush is worth two in the hand.
  2. No man is an island.
    This one is so true. I've tried. You can float for a maximum of 13 hours before you get tired. Plus, you're not even made of sand.
  3. The early bird and his wife get killed by the same stone.
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  1. Mike Huckabee—No weakness comes to mind. Oh also he lives by the rules.
  2. Jeb Bush—Impatient, also can't fake anger. We're on the verge of the greatest time.
  3. Marco Rubio—He's optimistic but also he doesn't think that's a weakness.
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  1. Fear Hobbes, Thomas Hobbes' brother.
    A well regard risk-assessor, he was always the peak of caution when performing professional and personal duties. His brother was a bit of a sourpuss, but that's how life works some times doesn't it.
  2. Nicholas Cage
    Nicholas Cage's sister became famous by virtue of being the sister of a mediocre actor. She quickly surpassed him.
  3. Tortoise Bonaparte
    I think it was because of his name.
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  1. Time
  2. Morals
  3. Cousins
  1. People only listen to music for the drums.
  2. They might wake a demon.
  3. If you're alone as a bassist, who will check if you have lice?
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  1. Sometimes you forget where you put them, and stub your toe on them as you go to get a glass of water at night
  2. The radiation cooks your eggs before you're ready. Now you have too many cooked eggs. Let them go bad or cholesterol.
  3. We could turn nuclear silos into huge ball pits if we got rid of the bombs.
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How I am related to the bacon I just ate that is more carcinogenic than pure carcinogens.
  1. Me
  2. Am the son of my mother
  3. Who is cousins with someone
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