1. Sometimes you forget where you put them, and stub your toe on them as you go to get a glass of water at night
  2. The radiation cooks your eggs before you're ready. Now you have too many cooked eggs. Let them go bad or cholesterol.
  3. We could turn nuclear silos into huge ball pits if we got rid of the bombs.
  4. If we didn't have them, we wouldn't have to destroy atolls in the Pacific.
  5. Nuclear weapons have feelings too.