THINGS I'M SURPRISED HAVE NOT HAPPENED TO ME YET

It's been a rough semester
  1. Hip fallen off
    I tried to be a runner like two times and ever since my hips have been hurting something fierce
  2. Shoes completely demolished
    I need to buy new ones
  3. Laptop completely broken
    I've had too good of luck so far...it makes me suspicious
  4. Failed every assignment ever assigned
    Truly astonished at my ability to manage pulling off average grades
  5. Fallen down a well/open manhole/etc
    I'm not very good at paying attention and honestly I wouldn't be surprised at this point
  6. Get hit by a car
    Had a close call the other day!
  7. Have a complete emotional breakdown
    I have a feeling I am on the brink of one at any given moment, it's only a matter of time at this point
  8. Gotten sick
    I feel like I've been on the edge of getting a cold for three months but it hasn't happened yet.