MY SUGAR ADDICTION (IF IT PROGRESSED LIKE A NORMAL DRUG HABIT)

When 40oz Coke Icees and boxes of Krispy Kremes no longer do the trick, these will be a few likely steps in my downward spiral.
  1. Snorting rails of Pixie Stix
  2. Chasing the caramel sauce dragon
  3. Freebasing rocks of toffee
  4. Something involving a tampon dipped in maple syrup?
  5. Smoking crystal Jolly Rancher
  6. My rock bottom will likely look one of two ways:
  7. Either flirting with overdose, main-lining simple syrup
  8. Or going out in a blaze of confectioner's sugar-filled glory