Innapropriate Thoughts Had at the Apple Genius Bar, Chronologically
3.45 pm, 5th ave & 58th st
- •I hope I get a really nerdy straight male genius, aka the demographic that seems least immune to my charms.Like if I were to draw a pie chart of susceptibility to my specific appeal by group, nerdy guys with glasses and bad posture would basically be the whole circle.
- •Why do I always assume that I will get better service if I flirt with the customer service rep, when it is actually their job to help me??Like bent over the genius counter flirtation styles
- •MAYBE BECAUSE WHEN I FLIRT WITH HIM HE SAYS SHIT LIKE, "We're not supposed to do that. But I will. But like you should just know that for next time."Thanks Mike!
- •It probably says something pretty fucked about me that my de facto first move with IT guys is always, "I don't know anything about tech, talk to me like a five year old."But it does prepare them for my general ignorance & get them on my side?????? I DISGUST MYSELF.
- •I wonder if this guy gets a lot of pussy because of Ira Glass.
- •I wonder if there's gonna be a nerd population boom in a few years because of Ira Glass.
- •I wonder how Ira Glass personally capitalizes on his renegade sex-symbol status? Or is all the benefit received by other silver-foxy nerds via cultural osmosis?Does Ira get better service at the Genius Bar, for instance? I hope so.
- •Is my "I'm-so-dumb" posturing actually a way of protecting myself against real judgment, aka I know I'm just pretending so if this "genius" looks at me askance for still not knowing how to back up my iPhone, I will never feel the sting?
- •Maybe I should start instituting a no-flirtation policy in my life and see what happens????But also would my life be a whole less fun? This is not a one-way street, Zoe. YOU ATTENTION-MONGER.
- •How the fuck did Apple get away with calling its customer service department geniuses???? As like a BRAND?Gonna start calling my trailer "The Genius Trailer" on set & see what happens.
- •What would the geniuses do right now if I pulled out my bright red lipstick, applied it to my mouth in a seductive manner, and then just kept applying it until my entire face was covered?
- •Pretty cool to get this problem fixed absolutely for FREE!!!!Except what it cost me in dignity/self-respect!!!!!!!!