Technological Markers That Make ME Seem Ancient to Myself, Chronologically

AND I AM NOT EVEN THAT OLD YET FTW
  1. Until I was six, my parents both wrote on electric typewriters, because home computers were still too expensive.
    I have vivid sense memory of the hum of the IBM Selectric and the specific sound of its type-ball in action.
  2. Most of the movies we owned as a child, my parents taped off the Z-channel onto VHS.
  3. It was a big deal when we got a car phone.
    It was also a big deal when we got a CD player.
  4. When I was 9, my parents "invested" in a Laser Disc player.
    The first film we watched was Hitchcock's Rebecca.
  5. My mom would ration how much film we shot on vacations because getting photos developed was expensive.
  6. As a pre-teen, I begged for my own landline.
  7. "Computer class" in middle school meant learning to type, because the Internet was still in its nascent stages.
  8. When I started high school, my dad gave me a film canister filled with quarters so I could use the school pay phone to call home.
  9. When our limo broke down on the way to Junior prom, not one person in our group had a cell phone.
    AND THAT WASN'T WEIRD.
  10. I went to college with a disc-man and a binder full of CDs.
    Because the iPod had not been invented yet.
  11. If you wanted to see what a classmate looked like, you had to look up their picture in the physical Face Book distributed at Freshman Orientation.
    I didn't send in a pic because I DGAF.
  12. When I graduated college, the iPad and the iPhone still had not been invented.
  13. In my late teens and early twenties, browsing a video store was my favorite form of foreplay.
    RIP Best Video in West Haven and every single Kim's.
  14. When I first moved to New York, my dad made me promise to always carry emergency cash because cabs did not take credit cards.
    They also rarely would go to Brooklyn.
  15. Since I graduated college, New Haven's independent movie theater and famous record store Cutler's both shut down, because people stopped going to the movies or buying physical albums.
  16. People have begun to tell me that my love of books on paper is nostalgic and kitschy.
    This is one step too far. Back. The fuck. Up.