WHY I DON'T WANT TO MEET YOU, TINDER FUCKBOI
If we already have this going against us don't be surprised when I don't respond.
- •You're in a goddamn open relationship.Or worse, open marriage.
- •You look like my ex.
- •You have the same name as my ex.Following exceptions: Michaels
- •You listed your height then wrote "cause I guess this matters" or something along those lines.You care just as much as I do. Don't pretend you wouldn't wanna know if I was 6'3"
- •One of your photos is of a sports car. You are probably not in this photo.
- •You are visiting from ____ for ____ amount of time.Stop wasting my time fuckboi!
- •You mention that you're not a cat person.
- •You are over 5 miles away.This is New York after all.
- •1+ photos are selfies of you at the gym.
- •You live in Long Island or Jersey.See above.
- •You're wearing sunglasses in over half of your photos.
- •You're holding a gun.
- •You reassured me that I "still look pretty good even with short hair."Thanks for your unwelcomed opinion assface
- •You asked me to lie about where we met.It's 2016, we're all on tinder.
- •You're wearing a bucket hat.
- •You told me being a waitress/bartender is not a real job.
- •You look like a different person in every picture.So you probably look like none of them which will inevitably lead to a very awkward first date.