REASONS MY DOG IS BETTER THAN A RELATIONSHIP

For Ben.
  1. Requires no assistance making insignificant decisions.
  2. Grooms himself without getting hair all over the sink.
  3. Cuddles me without question.
  4. Can come to my workplace and sleep in a corner all morning, or pose for ridiculous photos such as this.
  5. Gets excited when he sees me no matter how short a time it's been.
  6. Will not give me grief over eating chocolate for breakfast, or popcorn for dinner as long as he is fed himself.
  7. I can cry around him for no reason and it incites almost no anxiety or the need to "talk".
  8. Only takes up a small corner of the bed, and no duvet at all.
  9. I can watch anything I want without compromise.